"Good Enough" is Good Enough | Parenting Jounrney

Ever feel like you're constantly falling short? Feel like the picture-perfect families you see online are a whole other species? You're not alone. In fact, that feeling of inadequacy might be coming from a place we need to challenge: the relentless pursuit of "perfect parenting".

According to the insights of British psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, highlighted by The School of Life, this parental agony often stems from excessive hope and a cruel, counterproductive perfectionism. Winnicott, who worked extensively with parents and children, noticed that many parents felt like failures because their kids weren't in the "best" schools, or because their homes weren't always spotless, or even because there were occasional arguments. All of this might be starting to sound familiar..

Winnicott's profound realization was that children don't need ideal parents; they just need "good enough" ones. What does "good enough" mean? It's about being an okay, pretty decent, usually well-intentioned father or mother, who might be a bit grumpy sometimes but is basically reasonable.

This isn't about settling for second best. Instead, it's about recognizing the toll that perfectionism takes on our sanity. We beat ourselves up for not being something that no ordinary human can ever truly be. Winnicott developed the concept of "good enough" as an escape from these dangerous ideals.

Think about it: are your kids generally safe, loved, and cared for? Do you try your best, even when you're tired or frustrated? Do you have moments of connection and joy, even amidst the chaos? If the answer to these questions is mostly "yes," then you are likely a "good enough" parent.

It takes real courage and skill to navigate the daily challenges of raising children. Persevering through tantrums, homework battles, and the endless cycle of laundry is, in its own way, quietly heroic.

Good enough is good enough (all credits to The School of Life)

So, as fellow flawed parents, let's try to step back sometimes and acknowledge, in a real and honest way, that our efforts are good enough. Embracing "good enough" parenting isn't about lowering our standards; it's about giving ourselves a break and recognizing the grand achievement that simply keeping our families going truly is. You're doing better than you think.

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